Choose your battles

All humans resist feeling controlled by someone else, and kids are no different.  The more they feel "pushed around" the more they rebel.  That's a good thing! Training a child to be obedient means you'll always have to be there to give orders, and as they grow up they may find it more difficult to stand up for themselves.  Instead, teaching a child self-discipline raises a child who can think for themselves, stand up for what's right, and isn't likely to be taken advantage of.

How can parents help?  Choose your battles. Make sure your child knows you're on his/her side and that they have some choices. When you feel you are entering a power struggle, offer them two choices that you feel OK with. This will allow them to feel they have some control, while you also continue to hold your boundaries. Coach your child rather than trying to control him/her.

Sometimes we could all do with someone to talk to.  If you would like to meet Penny for a confidential and non-judgemental chat about you, your child, or any other worries, she is available on Mondays and Wednesdays at 9-10am. You can call/text Penny on 07901-000606 or email her at penny@schoolscounsellingpartnership.co.uk